Schoolhouse Schlock: Bizarro 16mm Educational Films

Opens on August 5

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Run Time: 100 min. Format: 16mm Film

Vidiots invites you to its first-ever celluloid screening: Schoolhouse Schlock, a ridiculous program of campy, trashy, antiquated, bizarre, and hilarious 16mm educational films culled from the legendary A/V Geeks and Oddball Films archives. From the ’50s through the 80’s, this beyond-rare collection of sex, drugs and schlock n’ roll features unruly beanbag monsters, musical computer parts, animated STIs, smart squirrels and so much more! Watch out for the schmoadles – punching bag shaped blobs that terrorize the bus driver with their terrible hallucinatory behavior in School Bus Safety: A Schmoadle Nightmare (1975). Step into a dream world of silver hair and a chorus line of dancing CPU units in the laughable computer primer Learning About Computers (1984). Squeak the Squirrel (1957) will warm your heart and laboratory, and earn his nuts as he navigates “scientific” obstacle courses. Teen girls need to watch out for intruders, even when they inexplicably become your instructor of Self-Defense for Girls (1969). Learn to say no to drugs but keep your friends in Stand Up For Yourself: Peer Pressure and Drugs (1987). From the grooviest era of Encyclopaedia Britannica Films comes Fantasy of Feet (1971) a percussion-heavy cornucopia of feet for the budding fetishist. Plus, a bonus secret Animated VD Film and more celluloid surprises, it’s a night too weird to miss and one you won’t be able to see ever again!

Featuring:

Self-Defense for Girls (Color, 1969)

A screamingly funny, over-the-top training film for teen girls. We begin with some terrifying situations for our young heroines, accompanied by slow-motion, exaggerated horror music, and some incredible over and underacting. Then, as we are exploring the terrors of the home invasion, the perp suddenly becomes our teacher (accompanied by a Jerri Blank look-alike), and we learn how to take control of any situation! Groin and eyes ladies, always jab ’em in the groin and eyes!

Learning About Computers(Color, 1984)

Roger has to write a report for school about computers, but he can’t quite wrap his head around the workings of his Apple 2C. That is, until he falls asleep and has a magical dream where his computer comes to life, turns his hair sparkling silver (you know, because it’s a dream) and demonstrates the inner-workings of himself with women in CPU costumes dancing on a silicon bandstand.

School Bus Safety: A Schmoadle Nightmare (Color, 1975)
Reason number 27 not to take acid when you drive a school bus: you’ll be beset by huge, inflated, paramecium-shaped truants who want to make your life a living hell! See a school bus driver fend off a gaggle of Schmoadles, badly behaved little bastards who don’t know how sit still and can’t ride a bus without getting the cops involved. No one else can see them, but the bus driver knows they’re still there… A bonkers production from the stop-motion legends Crocus Films and Art Pierson that brought you such classics as The Munchers and The Peepercorns!

Squeak the Squirrel (Color, 1957)

You’ve heard of lab rats, well how about an adorable lab squirrel? No, he’s not being tested with makeup or medication; scientists are testing his intelligence by setting up a series of adorable obstacles on his way to his sweet nutty rewards. Can little Squeak learn to use a step stool and a pulley? And most importantly, will he ever get that nut he’s after?